i dont even understand this nicole bullshit. i was having lunch with kayla and mentioned it as we were leaving and she was like “that’s such high school drama bullshit” and i was like “yeah i guess so” and i realized that like… i could be playing dirty in return. IIIII could be the one inviting the guys to dinner here and not inviting nicole, or bring em over and go out with them and leave her back here. but like that’s super shitty hahaha i can’t even fathom it. there’s no fuckin way id play back like that.

i still feel like the situation is more than it seems though… errybody keeps telling me its this or that and i should do this or that and i feel like everybody that views a situation from the outside is biased in a certain way by the minute, basic, overlying facts that you tell them. but in reality there’s so much more to a situation or something. hmmmph. i’ll just end up not doin anything about it. like always. a bit of paralysis, circles of thoughts creating a body stasis, my friend hal incandenza would relate.. hamlet’s on top of the world….

THE HERO OF NON-ACTION

i often believe that the only person who could ever fully comprehend my thoughts would be david foster wallace

David Foster Wallace, Infinite Jest.

“a true z coordinate”, hahaha, oh god, I am so in love with this book.

(via insomnius)

(via hallieincandenza)

to my infinite jest friends,

the sole decoration on my wall right now is a taped-up piece of paper that has in huge letters in black sharpie on it, “THE HERO OF NON-ACTION”.

having a hal incandenza moment if i will..

(if you don’t remember what i’m talking about hal at one point writes an essay comparing two famous people and one of them is the hero of non-action.. found the quote he writes: “We await, I predict, the hero of non-action, the catatonic hero, the one beyond calm, divorced from all stimulus, carried here and there across sets by burly extras whose blood sings with retrograde amines.” as far as i remember that line’s the only mention of it in the entire book.. but come on, guys, don’t you just FEEL the relevance of the line in your bones? anyone?)

“I never could figure out what the hell your url actually said.”

LMAO. I wonder how many of you guys feel the same way! I swear it has a reference and reasoning behind it. (No it’s not just about a dick)

i had the most amazing time playing tennis! it was so refreshing. i slipped right back into it again. my serve was beautiful. the guy i was playing with, kevin, was cute and a gentleman the whole way through. he was slightly better than me but kept conceeding me points and pretending that my shots were in when they weren’t, and he took the side where the sun was shining in his eyes, and made an excuse so he could stay there the whole game, and offered to drive me home, and we’re going to play twice a week from now on. it was great.

i was reminded of what the late and great david foster wallace said of tennis:

“that’s not the way a real player plays. With respect and due effort and care for every point. You want to be great, near-great, you give every ball everything. And then some. You concede nothing. Even against loxes. You play right up to your limit and then pass your limit and look back at your former limit and wave a hankie at it, embarking. You enter a trance. You feel the seams and edges of everything. The court becomes a… an extremely unique place to be. It will do everything for you. It will let nothing escape your body. Objects move as they’re made to, at the lightest easiest touch. You slip into the clear current of back and forth, making delicate X’s and L’s across the harsh rough bright green asphalt surface, your sweat the same temperature as your skin, playing with such ease and total mindless effortless effort and and and entranced concentration you don’t even stop to consider whether to run down every ball. You’re barely aware you’re doing it. Your body’s doing it for you and the court and Game’s doing it for your body. You’re barely involved. It’s magic, boy, Nothing touches it, when it’s right. I predict it. Facts and figures and curved glass and those elbow-straining books of yours’ lightless pages are going to seem flat by comparison. Static. Dead and white and flat. They don’t begin to… . It’s like a dance, Jim.”

going out today: wearing my ESCHATON shirt

time to make new friends

I think this makes me really pretentious but whenever I see people post that they’re starting Infinite Jest or just received it in the mail I chuckle to myself darkly and say, “blog about it now, you contrived hipster intelligentsia you, but I’d like to see a blog post once you’ve gotten past the first thirty pages”